Thursday, July 08, 2004
The First post
Well I thought this would be the best way for me to get some things out.
I can say all of the stuff I would like to shout to the world.
Here I go:
Lets start this story on Fathers Day 2004. Feeling a little blah and worn out, I knew something was up. I went ahead and put one of those sticks to use. What stick? That would be the pregnancy test stick! And wouldn't you know it I saw a very faint second line. But this was the first time in a long while that I even got that faint line. I was so full of emotions. I was so excited yet scared as heck. Would I be going through another miscarriage? Would this baby stick around long enough to be born healthy and happy?
So here starts the obsession. The next day another test. Yup the line is still there. The next day, I will be darned but there it is AND it is darker! Later... A little darker. I will tell you all I am so glad we got those cheap tests in bulk (about .30 each) Otherwise we'd be broke hahaha.
Would you believe after those tests I still wasn't convinced I was pregnant??? So off to Costco I went. I picked up a 3-pack of E.P.T's. Even though I had been downing water all day and it wasn't the first thing in the morning....Again a positive!! The next day darker! Oh my goodness can you believe it?
So off to the clinic I go (after a fight with our insurance since they changed everything). So I went in after I dropped the hubby off at work (we only have the one car)I went to the clinic...And sat there for the HOUR before they opened. Tell me why can't people especially military things open earlier?? I went into the lab, got my cup and did the ol' filler up. I get told to have a seat. I think that was the longest 5 minutes of my life. Waiting and waiting. The guy who ran the test did not come out. One of his coworkers did with a paper in hand. Did she give me the results? Nope. She simply said "follow me" as we walked to the other side of the clinic. Then "wait here." as she went into the room.
Out comes a nurse and calls my name. I go into the room. She says.... "So it looks like you are 4 weeks pregnant and due March 3rd." OMG hahaha Why did they torture me so?
They asked if I had other children. I said yes 2. "so this is you 3rd pregnancy" I said "no actually this is my 5th medically confirmed" (I had two separate pregnancy tests come back positive other times and I miscarried before I made it to the Dr and 2 losses that were confirmed by the doctor). I simply got a "oh my" I was then asked what happened. I told her miscarriages. She asked if they were elective....ummm wouldn't that be an abortion not a miscarriage? I told her no. At that point I became a high risk pregnancy.
She went back to the doctor to get a referral put in the computer so I could go see a OB. Our medical clinic on base has no OB department. She comes back with my referral to the doctor I wanted. The priority is marked ASAP.
So I leave the clinic and on the way home I call the doctor and set up my appointment for the first available; that following Monday.
That evening I get a call from our insurance saying that my referral is approved and I got the confirmation number. How is that for service?
Monday rolls around and at that point I was 4weeks 4days pregnant. Not much to that appointment. He did try this handheld ultrasound machine. That didn't help alleviate my fears at all though. He said I am 60% sure that right there is the sac and fetal pole. 60%?!?!?!?! hahaha ok yeah let me run with that reassurance!
I was sent across the street to the hospital for bloodwork and again the filler up cup. They wanted to check everything as well as my progesterone because previous tests have come back low. I am on progesterone supplements now. They actually think that may be the cause of my previous miscarriages; the low progesterone.
So Today I am six weeks pregnant. Things so far are going OK. I had a scare a couple of days ago when I had the tiniest bit of pink spotting. Just that was enough to send me into this stage of thinking a miscarriage is coming. But it was so little and not red that it is considered "normal" and a good sign.
I do not think I will relax until next week when I get my first real ultrasound and see the heartbeat.
I haven't told anyone I am pregnant yet. Well except the hubby of course and one friend. No family knows the boys do not know. I won't tell anyone until 14-16 weeks when things are known to be OK. It is not that I want to hide it. Trust me I want to shout it from the rafters! But I cannot handle yet another loss. I feel each time I am letting everyone down and breaking their hearts a little bit.
OK well this was a spew of a first post hehe. But I had a lot to fit into one post :)
Until next time......
I can say all of the stuff I would like to shout to the world.
Here I go:
Lets start this story on Fathers Day 2004. Feeling a little blah and worn out, I knew something was up. I went ahead and put one of those sticks to use. What stick? That would be the pregnancy test stick! And wouldn't you know it I saw a very faint second line. But this was the first time in a long while that I even got that faint line. I was so full of emotions. I was so excited yet scared as heck. Would I be going through another miscarriage? Would this baby stick around long enough to be born healthy and happy?
So here starts the obsession. The next day another test. Yup the line is still there. The next day, I will be darned but there it is AND it is darker! Later... A little darker. I will tell you all I am so glad we got those cheap tests in bulk (about .30 each) Otherwise we'd be broke hahaha.
Would you believe after those tests I still wasn't convinced I was pregnant??? So off to Costco I went. I picked up a 3-pack of E.P.T's. Even though I had been downing water all day and it wasn't the first thing in the morning....Again a positive!! The next day darker! Oh my goodness can you believe it?
So off to the clinic I go (after a fight with our insurance since they changed everything). So I went in after I dropped the hubby off at work (we only have the one car)I went to the clinic...And sat there for the HOUR before they opened. Tell me why can't people especially military things open earlier?? I went into the lab, got my cup and did the ol' filler up. I get told to have a seat. I think that was the longest 5 minutes of my life. Waiting and waiting. The guy who ran the test did not come out. One of his coworkers did with a paper in hand. Did she give me the results? Nope. She simply said "follow me" as we walked to the other side of the clinic. Then "wait here." as she went into the room.
Out comes a nurse and calls my name. I go into the room. She says.... "So it looks like you are 4 weeks pregnant and due March 3rd." OMG hahaha Why did they torture me so?
They asked if I had other children. I said yes 2. "so this is you 3rd pregnancy" I said "no actually this is my 5th medically confirmed" (I had two separate pregnancy tests come back positive other times and I miscarried before I made it to the Dr and 2 losses that were confirmed by the doctor). I simply got a "oh my" I was then asked what happened. I told her miscarriages. She asked if they were elective....ummm wouldn't that be an abortion not a miscarriage? I told her no. At that point I became a high risk pregnancy.
She went back to the doctor to get a referral put in the computer so I could go see a OB. Our medical clinic on base has no OB department. She comes back with my referral to the doctor I wanted. The priority is marked ASAP.
So I leave the clinic and on the way home I call the doctor and set up my appointment for the first available; that following Monday.
That evening I get a call from our insurance saying that my referral is approved and I got the confirmation number. How is that for service?
Monday rolls around and at that point I was 4weeks 4days pregnant. Not much to that appointment. He did try this handheld ultrasound machine. That didn't help alleviate my fears at all though. He said I am 60% sure that right there is the sac and fetal pole. 60%?!?!?!?! hahaha ok yeah let me run with that reassurance!
I was sent across the street to the hospital for bloodwork and again the filler up cup. They wanted to check everything as well as my progesterone because previous tests have come back low. I am on progesterone supplements now. They actually think that may be the cause of my previous miscarriages; the low progesterone.
So Today I am six weeks pregnant. Things so far are going OK. I had a scare a couple of days ago when I had the tiniest bit of pink spotting. Just that was enough to send me into this stage of thinking a miscarriage is coming. But it was so little and not red that it is considered "normal" and a good sign.
I do not think I will relax until next week when I get my first real ultrasound and see the heartbeat.
I haven't told anyone I am pregnant yet. Well except the hubby of course and one friend. No family knows the boys do not know. I won't tell anyone until 14-16 weeks when things are known to be OK. It is not that I want to hide it. Trust me I want to shout it from the rafters! But I cannot handle yet another loss. I feel each time I am letting everyone down and breaking their hearts a little bit.
OK well this was a spew of a first post hehe. But I had a lot to fit into one post :)
Until next time......
