Wednesday, March 01, 2006
So tell me WHAT IN THE HELL IS NEXT?!?!?!?!?!?
I have been busy a lot lately this should explain a lot of it.
What do you do when you have tried everything else? what do you do when nothing works?
Where do you turn? what do you do?
I am at my wits end AND in tears. I think the tears are maybe from fear? frustration? a combo of the two?
My eldest son. Let me start by saying no matter my mood I love him. I love him so much. the reason This bothers me.... is because I DO love him
He is a theif. Yes it is true. he steals from us. EVERY chance he gets he steals. Food, money, games, gaming devices, soda, get this... BABY food (crackers) from the baby!
Here is the thing. We have done it all. Grounded him straight home to his room no out side activities no friends no nothing, made him write sentences....you all ever read the 5th Harry Potter book? I WANTED that magic quill! We have made him apologize, stolen HIS things, talked, yelled, Pleaded, cried, and yes even spanked. I have even pulled his music lessons, something he loves. Why pay for them when he is already taking from us? Lets give you an idea of the last month.... Grounded for stealing.... got 2 weeks. After week 1 STOLE! so grounded for 3 weeks. Got OFF of grounding Monday, STOLE monday night!!!!!! This morning he took too long to get out the front door to the bus stop. I call him back and YUP in his pocket his brothers gameboy! He doesn't have one because for the second time he GAVE HIS AWAY to some other kid.
At this point I am looking at visiting my son in PRISON for his 18th birthday-if not before. He shows NO remorse. He can sit there and SMILE as you scold him or when you catch him stealing. He is cold. No emotion nothing. You ask him did you take X? He will look you straight in the eye and say "no" AGAIN AND AGAIN he will deny it. It is all about making himself happy and getting what he wants, SCREW everyone else. Lie and steal to what he wants to get what he wants at that moment. Future rapist? Career criminal? Three stikes victim?
I do not understand he has been raised the same as DS#2 ... and he is THE most honest and loving kid you could ever hope for. This child has been reduced to tears after his OWN brother has stole from him. He doesn't understand how his brother could do this to him, to the family.
I am looking at DS#1 I am so fearful he is going to look back on his childhood and only remember Mom and Dad being mad all the time. Always being grounded or in trouble and THINK that we do not love him. But the reason we are so hard on him and trying to get this straightened out, is because we want only the best for him.
Today I went to the Sheriffs office. I explained I was coming to them for their help before they were at my door to arrest my son. I broke down I cried. I told him we have tried everything. Is there anything he could do? He agreed to talk to him and hopefully scare him into being a good kid again. And when he hits 12 .... I can press charges should he steal from me again.
I know some of you gasped at the thought of a mother pressing charges against her child. Let me tell you all.... I would in a heartbeat!!! if it means that he will not be a criminal as an adult yes I would.
Why? I know the boy has mental health issues. But man oh man this is killing me. What next?
What do you do when you have tried everything else? what do you do when nothing works?
Where do you turn? what do you do?
I am at my wits end AND in tears. I think the tears are maybe from fear? frustration? a combo of the two?
My eldest son. Let me start by saying no matter my mood I love him. I love him so much. the reason This bothers me.... is because I DO love him
He is a theif. Yes it is true. he steals from us. EVERY chance he gets he steals. Food, money, games, gaming devices, soda, get this... BABY food (crackers) from the baby!
Here is the thing. We have done it all. Grounded him straight home to his room no out side activities no friends no nothing, made him write sentences....you all ever read the 5th Harry Potter book? I WANTED that magic quill! We have made him apologize, stolen HIS things, talked, yelled, Pleaded, cried, and yes even spanked. I have even pulled his music lessons, something he loves. Why pay for them when he is already taking from us? Lets give you an idea of the last month.... Grounded for stealing.... got 2 weeks. After week 1 STOLE! so grounded for 3 weeks. Got OFF of grounding Monday, STOLE monday night!!!!!! This morning he took too long to get out the front door to the bus stop. I call him back and YUP in his pocket his brothers gameboy! He doesn't have one because for the second time he GAVE HIS AWAY to some other kid.
At this point I am looking at visiting my son in PRISON for his 18th birthday-if not before. He shows NO remorse. He can sit there and SMILE as you scold him or when you catch him stealing. He is cold. No emotion nothing. You ask him did you take X? He will look you straight in the eye and say "no" AGAIN AND AGAIN he will deny it. It is all about making himself happy and getting what he wants, SCREW everyone else. Lie and steal to what he wants to get what he wants at that moment. Future rapist? Career criminal? Three stikes victim?
I do not understand he has been raised the same as DS#2 ... and he is THE most honest and loving kid you could ever hope for. This child has been reduced to tears after his OWN brother has stole from him. He doesn't understand how his brother could do this to him, to the family.
I am looking at DS#1 I am so fearful he is going to look back on his childhood and only remember Mom and Dad being mad all the time. Always being grounded or in trouble and THINK that we do not love him. But the reason we are so hard on him and trying to get this straightened out, is because we want only the best for him.
Today I went to the Sheriffs office. I explained I was coming to them for their help before they were at my door to arrest my son. I broke down I cried. I told him we have tried everything. Is there anything he could do? He agreed to talk to him and hopefully scare him into being a good kid again. And when he hits 12 .... I can press charges should he steal from me again.
I know some of you gasped at the thought of a mother pressing charges against her child. Let me tell you all.... I would in a heartbeat!!! if it means that he will not be a criminal as an adult yes I would.
Why? I know the boy has mental health issues. But man oh man this is killing me. What next?
Comments:
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First off, I so feel for you. I cannot imagine how upset you must be.
Second, I don't blame you for pressing charges. If it were me, I would do it too. I would want my child to know that there are consequences to his actions, and that is one of the only ways I know of to make a point.
It's good that you sought out advice from the sheriff. They can certainly help in some way. I hope you are able to make it through this Gina.
Second, I don't blame you for pressing charges. If it were me, I would do it too. I would want my child to know that there are consequences to his actions, and that is one of the only ways I know of to make a point.
It's good that you sought out advice from the sheriff. They can certainly help in some way. I hope you are able to make it through this Gina.
Gina, you sound just like us with DSS. I wish I knew the answer. I am really beginning to believe more and more in nature having a bigger impact than nurture. I believe in them both, but nature is starting to pull ahead. Good luck and keep us posted.
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